Before I go

So I'm leaving for Georgia in less than 24 hours. I can not accurately describe how excited I am. I love the fact that it's a ten hour bus ride. Plus I get to play softball six times in three days (if they don't get rained out which it's the south, it rains every day which I also love).

I'm going to try not to think about what Friday is though. It's an anniversary. Not the good kind. The kind that very year it comes around you want to spend the day in your room because no matter you do you can't stop thinking about it. March is my least favorite month. I won't go into detail till later. If my blogs seem really depressing this month though that's why.

March 6, 2002. I still remember the day perfectly. Every second from 3 pm to 10 pm. The lights, sounds, and the feeling. That day is the reason I was (and still am partially) haptephobic. for those who don't know that is the fear of being touched. It seems silly but I thought it was rational. It was my way of keeping people at a distance. I figure if you don't touch someone you can't get close. Any form of touch like hugging, hand shakes, even a simple hand on the shoulder was not allowed. I didn't want to hurt anyone again.

So maybe that explains me a little. Maybe not.